Once upon a time, my father and I went out of our busy schedules to pig-out. As he was driving our AUV on our way to the restaurant, I noticed the confidence, the wit on his face. You can sense focus, determination ad will in every move he does – every steer, every step. Breaking my father’s somewhat serious disposition, I asked him “Is it hard to drive?”
Ever since I was a kid, I have always dreamed of driving a car (or any four-wheeled vehicle that has a steering wheel, a gear stall and pedals). I’m in awe whenever I see drivers for they have such a wonderful skill. When I was 7, I see driving as a fairy tale, a myth. It is because whenever I seat at the “driver’s throne”, I can’t even step-on the pedals nor see the windshield. I believed, then, that I can never drive a car, my car. But one sunny afternoon – I’m already 15 then – I heard one song, “Drive” by Incubus.
Sometimes I feel the fear of uncertainty…
I found answers to my questions; I heard my life in a song. I have realized that my fear of uncertainty is not the fault of anyone else but me. Such has been because I was not able, I was afraid, to drive myself, to take full responsibility of my life, to live life with more purpose – I had the turtle spin of my life.
…when I drive myself, my life is found
Day by day I practiced, making my decisions count, turning to what’s good, and steering myself away from the bad. Receiving my student’s permit at 16, I finally knew how to drive a car – my life. At 17, armed with my non-professional driver’s license, I hit the road alone and free. I’ve been to many places, met a lot of people, faced difficulties, and enjoyed the ride with just a little fear of the uncertain.
Now, I don’t drive a car as often as before. Driving my life is my focus – still being into places, meeting people, facing difficulties, and enjoying the ride with lesser fear of uncertainty. I believe that soon, as long as I continue driving myself and as long as God is sustaining me with his grace, I’ll find my life – my vocation.
My father answered my question with delight saying, “Driving entails a great responsibility…” I looked at him with a smile, I knew what he meant.
Whatever tomorrow brings I’ll be there, with open arms and open eyes…